So that next time, we start our conversation with ‘Ayomide, I don’t know all the details but this and this is what I do know. Where do you think I start from?’ Instead of ‘Ayomide, I don’t know. You see, I have these ideas but then I really don’t know.’
You know that feeling you get when you suddenly lose your phone? It’s a terrible one😒. It felt like I was cut off from the world😂. Anyway, I’m back now and that’s what matters.
My topic for the day, well I DON’T REALLY KNOW but I think what I want to say will really be of benefit to you.
Some years back when I was a teenager (this sentence makes me feel a little old😂), my mum offended me and usually when she does that I rebel. Now, my idea of rebelling doesn’t go beyond not talking to anyone. I’m your usual kind of good girl who can’t cause trouble even if she tried. So back to my story, my mum would not apologize to me and so I continued moving around the house in that mood. Any question she asked me, my reply was the same ‘I Don’t Know’ even if I knew. Gradually I acted the same way to everyone at home. It was not deliberate, unconsciously I just kept telling everyone the same thing. Nobody asked me questions because they knew my answer was going to be ‘I Don’t Know’. It stopped one day when my dad asked me for something real easy and just before I could reply him, my mother did. She said, “She doesn’t know. She never does.” That day I felt terrible and I consciously decided to stop saying those nine words.
Months later, I was in class one day and my Economics teacher asked a question in class on what he had taught in the previous class. He pointed to someone and told him to answer. In two seconds, my classmate answered and said ‘I don’t know sir.’ That day, my teacher explained something that stuck with me. He said that when you are asked a question, normally your brain begins to search for answers especially when it is something you have heard or learnt before. However, the minute you say ‘I don’t know’, your brain stops seeking the answers. It simply means that you don’t want to put effort into searching for answers, your mind and brain respects that. I held on to this lesson for a long time and I was reminded of it again very recently, although I saw it in a new light.
I was at Thinkation 2019, organized by Ubong King (https://ubongking.us15.list-manage.com/track/click?u=ea46b161d336845315f0044ba&id=41b7301c35&e=55824cb191) and I was privileged to learn from a lot of seasoned speakers. I am going to talk on two of them. Timi Dakolo (I absolutely admire this man) asked us two questions and I’ll ask you too.
1. Think back 10 years ago. Can you remember what your sitting room looks like? What the TV looked like? Good.
2. Now imagine 10 years from now. What do you want your sitting room to look like? You have a picture in mind right?
I learnt two things from this. I am certain that you didn’t have either of these two pictures in mind when you opened this link. The mere fact that you can dig it out when you need it shows that you do know, even though you might not have thought that you did. Also, the fact that you can think into the past and also into the future concerning the same thing shows that your mind has so much capacity if you decide to use it.
The second person, and my favourite speaker for the day was Sheri Riley. Sheri told us that her friend called her for thirty minutes and started with ‘I don’t know, Sheri….’ She spent the next fifteen minutes saying things she DID know and wanted to do but then ended the conversation again with ‘…but you know Sheri, I don’t know.’
I laughed when Sheri said that because that person could easily have been me. I will even tush it up and say, ‘I don’t really know’, like the ‘really’ justifies my statement😁. The thing is we DO know.
While we might not know everything or every little detail, we do know something about that thing. So rather than put ourselves down with the grave discouragement the
‘I don’t know’ statement brings, what if we decide to start from the things we do know and work from there. So that next time, we start our conversation with ‘Ayomide, I don’t know all the details but this and this is what I do know. Where do you think I start from?’ Instead of ‘Ayomide, I don’t know. You see, I have these ideas but then I really don’t know.’
There’s a distance between the two sentences, a long one.
So guys, cheers to focusing on the bits we do know and starting from there to work out the things we don’t know. And cheers to us never putting ourselves down again with the
I don’t know statement.
Don’t forget to share, like and comment. You have something that the rest of us need to hear and learn from but how would we learn it if you don’t comment😎. Also, how would the rest of the world read it if you don’t share😁!