LESSONS

I spent the last week attending a 7-day conference that held at the University of Ibadan, the 7-day Traning on Employability and Entrepreneurial skills for University of Ibadan Undergraduates. The conference was brought about by the Reciprocal exchange programme between Mandela Washington fellow Emeka Ossai and head of strategic partnerships, Dell Inc Mobolaji Sokunbi.

Over the next few days I will be sharing the lessons I learnt that have greatly sharpened my mindset and mentality. My lessons started before the programme even began. I saw the e-flyer of the programme on WhatsApp and I saw that it was opened to only seventy students among the over fifteen thousand undergraduate students. Now, I thought to myself that I couldn’t possibly be picked as I registered only a few hours to the deadline and I wasn’t. I did not feel bad because like I said earlier, I did not think I stood a chance.

The programme kicked off on Monday with wonderful sessions by Sophia Reese, Ibiyemi Ifaturoti and Fidelis Bonaventure Uzoma. I was not present but there was a recap the following day where the important points were repeated. The sessions were in talent discovery in pursuing a career and emotional intelligence in the work place.

On Tuesday morning, more slots were made available for others who were not picked initially but registered. It was a great opportunity that I would not have heard of if I had not been friends with Obinna Ugwu. Even after hearing of the opportunity, I was not going to go because I thought I was not prepared and having to do things without planning ahead of time was stressful. Eventually, I went and I am glad I did.

Lessons learnt before the event started:
-Always try. Apply for that position. Apply for that scholarship. Apply for that internship. You never can tell.
-Do not be discouraged if you do not get accepted. Losses and rejections are part of life, they prepare us for the future.
-Keep smart and good friends. Cultivate only fruitful relationships.
-Don’t stay in your comfort zone. Stretch yourself.
-Always be prepared for when an opportunity presents itself.

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I DON’T KNOW

So that next time, we start our conversation with ‘Ayomide, I don’t know all the details but this and this is what I do know. Where do you think I start from?’ Instead of ‘Ayomide, I don’t know. You see, I have these ideas but then I really don’t know.’

You know that feeling you get when you suddenly lose your phone? It’s a terrible one😒. It felt like I was cut off from the world😂. Anyway, I’m back now and that’s what matters.
My topic for the day, well I DON’T REALLY KNOW but I think what I want to say will really be of benefit to you.

Some years back when I was a teenager (this sentence makes me feel a little old😂), my mum offended me and usually when she does that I rebel. Now, my idea of rebelling doesn’t go beyond not talking to anyone. I’m your usual kind of good girl who can’t cause trouble even if she tried. So back to my story, my mum would not apologize to me and so I continued moving around the house in that mood. Any question she asked me, my reply was the same ‘I Don’t Know’ even if I knew. Gradually I acted the same way to everyone at home. It was not deliberate, unconsciously I just kept telling everyone the same thing. Nobody asked me questions because they knew my answer was going to be ‘I Don’t Know’. It stopped one day when my dad asked me for something real easy and just before I could reply him, my mother did. She said, “She doesn’t know. She never does.” That day I felt terrible and I consciously decided to stop saying those nine words.

Months later, I was in class one day and my Economics teacher asked a question in class on what he had taught in the previous class. He pointed to someone and told him to answer. In two seconds, my classmate answered and said ‘I don’t know sir.’ That day, my teacher explained something that stuck with me. He said that when you are asked a question, normally your brain begins to search for answers especially when it is something you have heard or learnt before. However, the minute you say ‘I don’t know’, your brain stops seeking the answers. It simply means that you don’t want to put effort into searching for answers, your mind and brain respects that. I held on to this lesson for a long time and I was reminded of it again very recently, although I saw it in a new light.

I was at Thinkation 2019, organized by Ubong King (https://ubongking.us15.list-manage.com/track/click?u=ea46b161d336845315f0044ba&id=41b7301c35&e=55824cb191) and I was privileged to learn from a lot of seasoned speakers. I am going to talk on two of them. Timi Dakolo (I absolutely admire this man) asked us two questions and I’ll ask you too.
1. Think back 10 years ago. Can you remember what your sitting room looks like? What the TV looked like? Good.
2. Now imagine 10 years from now. What do you want your sitting room to look like? You have a picture in mind right?
I learnt two things from this. I am certain that you didn’t have either of these two pictures in mind when you opened this link. The mere fact that you can dig it out when you need it shows that you do know, even though you might not have thought that you did. Also, the fact that you can think into the past and also into the future concerning the same thing shows that your mind has so much capacity if you decide to use it.
The second person, and my favourite speaker for the day was Sheri Riley. Sheri told us that her friend called her for thirty minutes and started with ‘I don’t know, Sheri….’ She spent the next fifteen minutes saying things she DID know and wanted to do but then ended the conversation again with ‘…but you know Sheri, I don’t know.’

I laughed when Sheri said that because that person could easily have been me. I will even tush it up and say, ‘I don’t really know’, like the ‘really’ justifies my statement😁. The thing is we DO know.

While we might not know everything or every little detail, we do know something about that thing. So rather than put ourselves down with the grave discouragement the ‘I don’t know’ statement brings, what if we decide to start from the things we do know and work from there. So that next time, we start our conversation with ‘Ayomide, I don’t know all the details but this and this is what I do know. Where do you think I start from?’ Instead of ‘Ayomide, I don’t know. You see, I have these ideas but then I really don’t know.’

There’s a distance between the two sentences, a long one.

So guys, cheers to focusing on the bits we do know and starting from there to work out the things we don’t know. And cheers to us never putting ourselves down again with the I don’t know statement.

Don’t forget to share, like and comment. You have something that the rest of us need to hear and learn from but how would we learn it if you don’t comment😎. Also, how would the rest of the world read it if you don’t share😁!

My 365!

Welcome! Welcome into the new year. Well I know we human folks celebrated the new year three days ago but well it’s my blog’s new year today. Yes, yes! It’s been 365 awesome days with you readers.

So appreciation message. Clears throat, lol! Thank you for an awesome year. I still remember my very first blog post, I titled it ‘The beginning of a start’ and I remember checking the stats. I was really encouraged for a first post and I thought to myself, “Ayomide, this thing might actually work out.” Thank you for making it work out. It couldn’t have been possible without you.

As a reminder, I started The Development Bug because I saw the need to develop myself as a person. I mean taking conscious and deliberate efforts to help myself grow. I believe that investing in yourself is one of the greatest investments you can make. So why not do it?!

Also, if there’s a write up centred around self-development that you’ll like to share, do contact me. I can put it up here for the world to see and of course you get all the credit. Think of it as being a guest writer.

Thank you once more friends! I look forward to having a more writey😂 2019. Cheers to a good year!

My 2018 Lesson

Through people and events, successes and disappointments, I have come to realize that no man owes you anything. Not your parents. Not the government. Not your friends. Only you are responsible for you.

Hello! Hello! Hello!
How have you been? Merry Christmas to you!!!! So I tried to wait till this period to put up my last post for the year. Enjoy reading.

2018 was a year of lessons for me. I think I grew ten times more matured than I was last year. Lol, okay maybe I exaggerated that a little bit. Well, I thought that I should share one of my most important lessons.

Through people and events, successes and disappointments, I have come to realize that no man owes you anything. Not your parents. Not the government. Not your friends. Only you are responsible for you.
As simple as this thought maybe, it took me a while to realize it. You know how some people are daddy’s girl or mamma’s girl? Well, I’m both. And it just dawned on me this year that I’ve relied way too much on my parents. It’ll be hard to change that but well, I’m adjusting.
Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve spent thrice as much time on complaining about how the government have failed us than I have on how to solve the problems the government should have solved. I had to ask myself, “Ayomide, what would you do differently if you were in their shoes?”
Most important set of people that helped in learning my lesson were the people around me. My friends, classmates, acquaintances, you name it.
Changing my mindset from the ‘entitlement’ one has helped me in a lot of ways and I’ll just be mentioning a few:

  • Taking responsibility: I learnt to stop shifting the blame and start taking responsibilities for my actions. One time I missed an impromptu test because I skipped a class and at first I was angry at my close friends in class. I mean, any of them could have called me and I would rush to class but gradually I had to tell myself the truth. I didn’t miss the test because they didn’t call me, I missed the test because I skipped the class. That was my fault, not theirs. They don’t owe me a call and they were probably focusing on something more important, the test! The point here is not taking the blame and wallowing in it. It is taking responsibility of your actions and finding solutions to it.
  • Working harder: The realization that I cannot blame anybody for my actions or inactions have also taught me that I need to work hard. Actually, work twice as hard in some cases.
  • Gratitude: I also learnt to be very thankful for the help I receive. Those I asked for and those people just did of their thoughtfulness. I realize I couldn’t have compelled them to but they did it anyway. By the way if you’re reading this, thank you for reading. And if you’re a friend, thank you so much for your help and support thus far. I am grateful.

  • Rendering help: I understand that nobody owes me yet I also know that we can’t get far in life without help from those around us. So I learnt to render a helping hand to others however I can. Not because I am compelled to but because I realize that although I am not compelled to, you need it. Although nobody owes you, we really can’t go far without each other. So I learnt that we should help each other, not out of compulsion but because we can.

That is my big 2018 lesson. I’ll really like to hear yours, please comment in the section below. Don’t forget to like and share too.
I’m sorry for the long post and I wish you a merry Christmas once more. Let’s do more in 2019

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The Consequences of our Inactions

Hello people!
First of all, can you believe it is the end of November already?! I mean, January was just like two days ago, right? The year is fast coming to an end. What’s up with that list you wrote on the first day of the year? How far have you gone with it? I think it’ll be nice to evaluate your year and of course, be sincere with it.

To today’s note. Well, I saw a movie where this guy was a psychopath who enjoyed killing people for fun and survival. He thinks that we all are animals and only the fittest should survive. Creepy much, you’d agree?! Well, that’s not the point of this talk. The point is that his wife and child knew somewhere along the line but neither of them reported him until he murdered about three more people. He haunted them with that and told them that if only they had reported him the instant they knew, they could have saved three more lives and that got me thinking.

Newton’s 3rd law of motion tells us that “to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”. However, I think that even our inactions have consequences. Maybe not equal and opposite, but consequences nonetheless. That is the reason why you could be arrested as an accessory or for obtrusion of justice (I’m not sure of the fault. O ye lawyers!, do not crucify me😂) just because you said nothing about the crime and you were at the scene. It doesn’t have to be about crimes; failure to take actions as a leader is costly, failure to take actions as an individual is equally costly. And of course, failure to take actions as a member of the society is definitely costly.

“Choosing to do nothing is an option you’re free to choose. However, if you choose to do nothing today, you have no right to complain that nothing is changing tomorrow”.

Nthabiseng Legoete, Founder and CEO of Quality Health

No, it is not enough to speak about the problems, neither is it enough to write about the problems. You need to take actions too because really, sometimes our inactions are much more expensive than our mistakes. The saddest part is that usually somebody always has to pay.

So today, take actions!

Do not forget to like, comment and please share😉. Have a wonderful rest of the week.

VALUE CREATION

Hey people! It has been a while and now I’m back from a lazy break. Well, maybe not so lazy anyway. I actually got to do a number of other primary assignments during the time I made my blog secondary and I did them well. Some of those assignments are still ongoing by the way. Although, sadly I missed two different opportunities during the break too due to my own laziness, but that’s story for another day. I’ll most likely put up a writeup on that too.

Today, I thought I’ll write on VALUE CREATION.
So I learnt this term in business actually. To many, it isn’t a term that they take into consideration without knowing that it is one of the most important thing to be learnt. It involves paying attention to your customers need and designing your products to suit them specifically. Although it may sound like a vague concept, it is very far from it.

Relating it to our everyday life, there is no doubt that a lot of us want to leave a legacy behind. We want to create impact. We want to have influence. We want to be leaders, world-changing ones at that. I want to be and do all of those amazing things too. I mean, who does not want to?!

However, a more important question will be what do you have to offer?

What do you do differently?

What value do you create?

Why should people want you?

Why should people seek you out?

In recent times, I am learning that it is not enough to just do things. After all, every Tom, Dick and Harry can carry out the same activities. It is more important to do things that are valuable. It is valuable things that are recognized. It is the values that are appreciated. The impact you seek to create is only felt if your actions are a little beyond the normal. Influencers are those who have learnt carved a niche for themselves through their words, actions and the things that they stand for. Leaders do not follow the easy and convenient way. They are people who have decided to do things a little differently and seasoned with value.

Do not just do things. Do things that are needed. Survey your surrounding and provide a solution to their problems. Innovations are good when they provide solution to a need. Creativity will only be appreciated when it is understood and relatable. After all, would you not rather follow a leader who has a goal that you can also see than one who leads towards a goal you do not even have need for?

Recently, I read the words of a person and he said “Value is simply being of service. Something has value as long as it is able to serve.”

Let me hear, or rather read, your thoughts. Do comment below. Do not forget to like and share too.

OWN IT

Hello guys! How are you? So I’m super excited, yeah. Reason you ask, well I have successfully finished the first half of my final year as an undergraduate. Yes, I’m that excited! It has been quite a journey. I can only hope next semester is much better.

Anyway, straight to the business of today’s talk. Since I like questions so much, I’ll start by asking question. How many of you have that one thing you like to do so well but you’re not that confident to call it yours? For example, you like writing but you’ve actually never told anybody ‘Hi, I’m a writer’. If you’re like me who tries to be very careful with words, you’d probably say something like ‘Hi, I’m Ayomide and I like writing’ or ‘Hello, I’m Ayomide and I own a blog’. It would not be ‘I am a writer’ nor ‘I am a blogger’.

Well, I don’t know if I’m speaking on behalf of everybody but the sole reason why I used to do that was because I just didn’t think I was good enough to be it. It was simply the fact that somebody like Tomi Adeshina or Chimamanda Adichie was out there and they’d introduce themselves as writers. I’m pretty sure we can’t compare and so I was unsure whether we could bear the same title. It’s because there’s somebody out there with this amazing blog who features everywhere and because that person says he’s a blogger, I’m not quite sure I can say the same of me. I mean, look at me. I’m just this schoolgirl who is awfully inconsistent with her writings and who still struggles to find what to write about.

It was like if I gave myself a title, you’d expect so much from me and I would end up disappointing you. Well, these are legal fears (if there’s anything like that, lol). It is normal to feel this way. If you have amazing friends like mine, you’ll get called a writer by them before you gather enough courage to call yourself one. They believe in you more than you believe in yourself and you know, that actually causes you to do better. You get a little more confident each time one person says ‘I believe in you’ and because of that person you strive to be better. Now, imagine if it was you believing in yourself FIRST.

Imagine if you told yourself and introduced yourself as ‘I am an event planner’ and not just ‘I think I can organize events’. Imagine if you owned your sphere, owned your profession and owned what you love to do. Hey, here’s the headline: LABELLING IT WON’T MAKE IT DISAPPEAR. And yes, while it may mean you getting a disappointing ‘I thought you were a good writer’ when you submit your work, it also means you getting a ‘Ayomide is a writer. See if she can do it’. Besides, we get better by trying again and again with new improvements each time. So don’t be scared or shy, muster enough courage to own it (whatever ‘it’ may be) and who knows you just might turn out to be much better than you could ever have imagined.

Don’t forget to like, comment and share. I would love to hear your own opinion or experience.

Photo credit: Google